But my life has been so overprotected.

There must be another way
‘Cause I believe in takin’ chances
But who am I to say?
What a girl is to do?
God I need some answers
What am I to do with my life? – Britney spears.

I may have been the only child but i missed out on so much with parents that were too overprotective, I never truly got to live until I moved out, and now with three kids of my own, I still feel in some small way they are still making me question about my parenting, like an annoying voice inside your head that won’t stop until you actually give in to it.

I am a semi strict parent when it comes to things, I allow my kids to go to their friends’ houses and sleep over, I don’t walk them to the school gate anymore unless I have to, I let their grandparents watch them for days if they want to, my kids have phones so they can call me and their friends as they are independent humans of the world. I want my kids to look back on their childhood and not regret it, not say that my parents were strict, and they hated it.

As a child I may have had a handful of sleepovers, most at my house, I wasn’t allowed to go out with friends on weekends even as a teenager, I wasn’t allowed to go on dates, or go to the movies with friends, I got so left behind in things because of that. I was only allowed to use the phone once a day and had a time limit and it was a land line and I didn’t have my own phone, so I could not have private conversations as it was near the main rooms of the house. 

I was allowed to do things like go to the video store, fish and chips store and the corner shops when i was 16 but that was it, it was within walking distance of my house. 

When the friends came back on the Monday and spoke out their weekends it always made me feel jealous, they were having fun, making memories yet I was sitting in my room, reading, playing games or watching tv, so boring.

Then i got a job, I was allowed to walk to and from work, but still, they controlled my allowance, they wouldn’t let me take money out to spend on things I wanted to do, I had to save most of it (which they used when they needed it, all my savings I had to give to them for bills and rent when times got tough).

I regret not trying to be more independent or standing up to my parents and just having the life I wanted. But I know that it would have caused more fights between us, it was if my mother wouldn’t let me grow up, as if I had to be her little girl. 

My eldest is 10 and he has more freedom than I did at my age, my daughter is 8 and has had more sleepovers and playdates then I did, my youngest is 4 and he goes to Kindy and has friends, I never had a chance at Kindy as the teacher was “mean” so they pulled me out. 

I never wanted to be overprotected, I just wanted to be independent and free.